Bangladeshis Abroad

Dr. Abdur Rabb

Published in canadaBdNews.com

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A large majority of the Bangladeshis now in Canada came to this country in the last 30 years. The children of this first generation Bangladeshis are now studying in colleges and Universities, or joining the work force. As adults they are also getting married. In the greater Montreal area there have been a number of weddings in the last few years. Some of our young people married outside the Bangladeshi community. In a number of cases they found their spouses in the Pakistani community.  A Bangladeshi young man marrying a Pakistani girl has almost become a fashion. Our young people are also marrying Christians and Hindus. I have had the privilege and honour of converting some of these young people and performing their marriages. I have also been delivering wedding speeches and performing du’a ceremonies at weddings.

Recently there was an interfaith and international marriage in our community. The bride’s father Mr. Nazrul Alam Shanu is one of the most successful Bangladeshi businessmen of Montreal. He also does a great deal of work for the well-being of the Bangladeshis of this city. His family is truly interfaith, intercultural, and international. Himself a Muslim, he married a Buddhist lady from Chittagong; his son married a Pakistani lady, and now his daughter has married an American Christian. Many people appreciated the speech that I delivered at his daughter’s wedding. I therefore decided to share that speech with a larger number of people.

Ladies and gentlemen:

Assalamu alaykum (peace be with you), good evening, bon soir, nomoshkar !

Tonight we are celebrating a truly interfaith marriage: a marriage between a Muslim bride and a Christian groom. As the great Mahatma Gandhi said, “Ishwara Allah tere nam, sabko sammati de vagaban.“Some call you Ishwara, and some call you Allah; but you are the same. Please give goodwill to all.” We Christians and Muslims worship the same Creator. In my speech I shall refer to our Creator as the Lord. For those not familiar with Islam, I would like to say that Jews, Christians and Muslims are all members of the same family: the family of Abraham. From the Muslim theological point of view, Islam is the continuation of the teaching of Abraham, Moses and Jesus. Historically speaking, Islam is a further development and updating of Judaism and Christianity. Muslims share a great deal with Jews and Christians. We accept Moses, Jesus, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and other Judaeo-Christian prophets as genuinely God-sent prophets. We accept the story of the miracles of Moses and Jesus. We believe that Moses talked to his Lord, and Jesus was born of a virgin mother. Whenever we mention the name of anyone of these prophets, we are required to say, “May the Lord bless him.”

Now I am going to say a word about the newly-wed bride and the groom. Shubana, the bride, was born and brought up in Montreal. She is an interior designer, now working for a reputable company in Montreal. Her father Mr. Nazrul Alam Shanu came to Canada from Bangladesh 28 years ago. He is the example of an ideal immigrant to Canada. Hard work, honesty, good planning, and good luck have made him one of the most successful Bangladeshi businessmen of this great country. He is also greatly involved in many activities to help the Bangladeshi community of Montreal. Himself a Muslim from Chittagong, Bangladesh, he fell in love with a Buddhist lady whom he married.

Steven Eliot Koss is an American working for the US Air Force.  A Catholic Christian by birth, his forefathers came to America from Germany. You could see many differences between the backgrounds of the bride and the groom: one Canadian, another American; one with Bangladeshi ancestry, another German; one coming from a Muslim-Buddhist religious background, and another Catholic Christian. Love is so powerful that it conquered all these differences. It so happened that these two young people were vacationing in Quebec City. They both met in a restaurant in that city, and fell head over heel in love instantly. It was truly love at first sight, and that culminated in their union in holy matrimony yesterday.

Friends, we are here tonight to celebrate love: the love of Shubana and Steven. They opened their hearts to one another, and we are deeply grateful to them for opening their hearts to us as well, inviting us to witness and share in this precious moment with them. They have brought the fullness of their being as a treasure to share with one another. What a great joy it is for two human souls to join together to strengthen each other in all their endeavours, to support each other through all sorrows, and to share with each other in all joys! Our Lord has instructed all who enter into this relationship to cherish a mutual esteem and love; to bear with each other’s infirmities and weaknesses; to comfort each other in sickness, trouble and sorrow; to provide for each other, and for their household, in temporal things; to pray for and encourage each other in things which pertain to the Lord; and to live together to experience the joys of life. They have entered into this relationship reverently, discreetly, soberly, and in the Love of the Lord. As the years go by, they will find more and more in one another a loveliness which neither comes nor goes, which neither flowers nor fades. Everything in their marriage can partake of this mysterious beauty beyond beauty, until wherever you turn you see reflections of this loveliness.

Now let us pray.

We pray that the bride and the groom live a humble life sharing with and caring for each other.

We pray that they love all without expectation of return.

We pray that they have the courage to do what they think is right.

We pray that they work as participants and not merely as spectators on the stage of life.

We pray that the vision that brought them together remains radiant and strong. Love is stronger than conflicts, and bigger than life’s changes; the miracle always invites us to learn, to blossom, and to expand. It is to love that they must always return.

No greater joy can come in to their life than pure conjugal love, loyal and true to the end. We pray that the love with which they have joined their hearts and hands never fail, but grow deeper and stronger as the years go on. Their lives will be in the hands of our Lord. May the Lord be always with them. We pray that peace always dwells in their hearts and in their home; may they have true friends to stand by them, both in joy and in sorrow. May they be ready to help all those who come to them in need; and may blessings descend in abundance upon their house!

“ We pray that the light of our Lord surrounds them,

That the love of our Lord enfolds them,

That  the power of our Lord protects them,

May the presence of our Lord watches over them.

Wherever they are, our Lord is too! ‘’

Go in peace; go in peace; and may the Lord be with you always.  Amen.

Now the bride and the groom will exchange rings with each other. We pray:

O Lord, we pray that with these rings  Shubana and Steven will  keep faith with each other in unbroken loyalty, remain at peace with each other, and  live together always in mutual love Amen.

Published in CanadaBDnews,com on November 13, 2011

(We Muslims are required to say subhanahu ta’ala, “May Allah be glorified”, after we utter the name of Allah; and sallallahu alai-his sallam, “May Allah bless him” after we utter the name of Muhammad.)

Allah says in surah Inshirah of the Qur’an, “So indeed with every difficulty there is relief. With every difficulty there is relief” (94:5-6). Allah makes the same statement twice, one after the other, to emphasize the message contained therein. The Qur’an describes many incidents of the life of Muhammad which exemplify the truth of this statement.

As we Know, when Muhammad started preaching Islam he faced tremendous opposition from the Quraish of Makkah. One of the things that they did was to hurl insults at him. Once, for example, when he was going to the Ka’bah they threw the liver of a freshly slaughtered camel on him. They also called him tail-less (abtar). In Saudi Arabia of that time it was very important for the Arabs to have male children. There were frequent battles between Bedouin tribes in the desert. Hence they needed young men to fight against the enemies to protect their tribes. They also needed male children to take care of them in their old age. Hence a man without a son was considered imperfect and hopeless. As we know, our Prophet had no surviving sons. Hence his enemies insulted him by saying that he was tail-less, meaning that he was without a son.

According to the Qur’an, Muhammad was a human being. Naturally he felt bad when people called him tail-less. It was at that time that Allah addressed him saying, “Indeed We have given you kawsar” (108:1). Here Allah is saying to Muhammad: “Do not feel bad. It is true that you do not have a son, but you should be happy that We have given you plenty of spiritual gifts of goodness, wisdom, insight, and the like.”

Allah also says in surah Dhuha, “We found you an orphan and provided you with shelter. We found you in poverty and made you rich. We found you without guidance and We gave you guidance” (93:6-8).  Let us examine what Allah is actually saying to Muhammad, and why He is saying all that.

Muhammad lost his father before he was born. His mother died when he was six years old.  Afterwards he was taken care of by his uncle Abu Talib. After Abu Talib’s death, Muhammad’d grandfather Abdul Muttalib took care of him. Hence Allah is saying that although Muhammad became an orphan at a young age, He provided him with care and attention in the houses of his uncle and grandfather.

In the early years of his life Muhammad’s financial position was not great, but things changed when he reached the age of 25. He married Khadija radiallahu anha (may Allah be pleased with her) who was a well-to-do business woman of the city of Makkah. In addition to all the support that Muhammad received from her, especially after he became a Messenger of Allah, this marriage also brought him material prosperity. This was a crucial event in Muhammad’s life. If one has to worry about where food would be coming from, one does not write poetry, sing songs or make great discoveries of the mysteries of the universe. As a result of the marriage, Muhammad did not have to worry about his livelihood any more. Now he could devote himself to reflection and meditation on life and the universe.

Around the age of forty we see him spending a great deal of time in the quiet mountains alone loitering and meditating. One night in the year 610 AD when he was deeply wrapped in meditation in a cave of Mount Hira, a few miles from his house in Makkah, Allah started giving him the light or guidance for mankind saying, “iqra bi-ismi rabbika-llazi khalaka” (Recite in the name of your Lord who created you) (96:1). Until that night which the Qur’an calls Lailatul Qadr (the Night of Power) Muhammad was without Allah’s guidance about what is right and what is wrong, what should be done and what should not be done in life. It was on that night that Allah stared sending revelations (wahi) to him. The Prophet continued to receive revelations for the next 22 years until his death in 632 AD. These revelations which constitute the Qur’an contain guidance about the right path for Muhammad and the rest of mankind.

Surah Dhuha also says, “Indeed, your future is better than the present” (93-4).  Here the word ‘future” may refer to the future in this life or future in the life hereafter. In the earthly life of Muhammad we see that the orphan, poor and guidance-less young man one day became Allah’s Messenger, with thousands of people following his faith. He also became the undisputed ruler of Saudi Arabia. Muhammad’s future proved to be much better than his “present”.

We have been asked to read the Qur’an. In fact, the very meaning of the word Qur’an is reading or reciting. The idea is that we should read, understand and follow Quranic guidance in our life. Muhammad did exactly that. Who in the world could understand and apply Qur’anic teaching in his life better than the Messenger himself? Muhammad’s life therefore is an ideal exemplification of the teaching of the Qur’an. Hence we Muslims are required to follow the examples of his life.

Just as Muhammad faced difficulties in life, we ordinary human beings also encounter many difficulties in our life. We face health problems, problems in our relationships with the members of our family and others, problems at our business, and so on. Let us now see how we can apply the Qur’anic guidance and Muhammad’s examples in solving our problems.

The very first thing that we have to accept is that even roses have thorns. In smelling the roses we may sometimes prick our noses. Similarly, every one of us has or will have some kind of difficulties in life. A life without some difficulty is inconceivable.

Now what can we do when we face a difficulty? First, we have to sincerely believe that Allah will help us in overcoming the situation. When Muhammad and his followers were on the verge of being defeated at the Battle of Badr, the following wahi came to Muhammd: Nasrun minallahi wa fathun qarib . Allah is saying, “Allah’s help is coming, and soon you will be victorious” (61:13).  Allah’s help did come, and Muhammad and his followers won the crucial battle. My father-in-law who was a saintly man taught me to repeatedly recite this verse in times of difficulties. I can testify that I found the recitation of this verse very calming.

We have to be patient, very patient. Just  as every physical ailment has a course, every difficult situation has its course. There may not be a magic solution to all our problems. Allah has said many times in the Qur’an that He is with those who have patience.

We also cannot just sit down waiting for our problems to be solved by Allah. We ourselves have to strive hard to solve our problems. Allah will help us if we help ourselves.

What do we need to do when our problem is solved? First we have to thank Allah for His help. Allah asked Muhammad to thank Him when many people accept his faith (110:3). Human nature is such that we ask Allah’s help when we need it, but we tend to forget Him when our need is fulfilled. We have to thank Allah all the time for His countless blessings. It is important that we thank Him even more when we get over our difficulties.

In thanking Allah, we also need to do something for His creation. He has asked us to give to others from what we have received from Him: money, labour, time, a good word, or even a smile that may make people happy (94:11; 108:2).

Allah often uses other people as a medium to help us overcome our difficulties. It is therefore very important that we also thank them for extending their hands to us in times of our need. I say with great sadness that we Bangladeshis need to do a great deal better in this respect. To express thanks to people to whom we owe thanks is an important quality of a good human being.

Once we overcome a difficulty, we cannot remain at rest. Allah has asked us to keep on striving to make sure that we do not face similar difficulties and do well in following the right path (94:8).

If we look at our past life, we shall see that we faced many problems, and that these problems were solved with Allah’s help. It is also true, just as the night follows the day, that we shall face difficulties of one kind or another in the future. I hope and pray that we shall be able to tackle these difficulties according to the teaching of the Quran and the examples of Muhammad’s life.

Dr. Abdur Rabb

Published in canadaBdNews.com

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In this article I shall discuss the issue of integration of the Bangladeshi community of Quebec into the mainstream Quebec and Canadian societies. What I have to say about the Bangladeshis of Quebec also applies, in large measure, to all Bangladeshis living in Canada even outside the province of Quebec.

In my opinion, integration of the people of Bangladeshi origin into the Quebec society is a necessity. Many organizations and individuals of our community have been working hard to preserve Bangladeshi language, songs and music, especially among our young people. We are grateful to these organizations and individuals for their work. It is however necessary that we also make a sincere effort to integrate our-selves into the mainstream Quebec society, and thus become a significant part of that society.

Most of us originating from Bangladesh are intelligent, hard-working, and peace-loving people. Most of the Muslim members of the community are also moderate in their religious belief and practice. We came to this great country Canada to live in freedom, peace and prosperity. Many of us are trying to contribute to the well-being of our adopted country. Yet some international events of the last few years, over which we had no control, have affected our life in Canada. In the recent past there have been some events in Quebec which, I am sure, have also something to do with the current negative attitude of the West to Muslims. A part of the Quebec population considers us Muslims a problem. I have heard some Quebecers voicing their opinion: “If you do not like our way of life, you should go back where you came from.”

We must remember that we are Canadians living in Quebec. Our home is here; we are not about to go anywhere else. We want for ourselves, and our children and grandchildren, the same opportunities as those for other people. Our children will most likely join Medical Schools, Law Schools, Engineering Schools, and the like. They will also want to move up in the professions of their choice. Imagine a situation in which your son or daughter has applied for admission to a Medical School. Imagine again that the Dean who will make the final decision about the acceptance of your child for admission has negative feelings about Muslims. It is thus possible that your son or daughter will not be admitted to that Medical School. The same may happen when your son will apply for a job, or a promotion at the place of his work. These are no longer matters as obvious as being mistreated in a shop, or someone with a long beard wearing a lungi being insulted by a bunch of young people at the St. Laurent Metro station of Montreal. We are now faced with a situation that is relatively subtle, but may still affect and impact on our livelihood and prosperity. As our community, however small in the beginning, has now been here for more than forty years, I think that it is time for some of our young people to consider going beyond Medical Schools, Law Schools, etc., and aim at occupying elective positions such as those of City Councillors, M.N.A.’s, M,P’s, and Government Ministers. To achieve such goals, we must integrate ourselves into the Quebec and Canadian societies. If we do not become part of them, we cannot represent them. Two women M.P.’s of Bangladeshi origin– Rushanara Ali in England and Saera Khan in Norway—are good examples. They could never have represented their constituencies if they did not integrate into their respective European societies.

Every society has both commendable and unacceptable values. The Quebec society is no exception. We can easily adopt those values of the majority Quebec population that we consider good and desirable. Such values have no conflict with our own Bangladeshi and Muslim values. The other day while fishing from a boat in Lake St. Louis I heard my fisherman companion receiving many calls on his cell phone and talking fluently in French, English and Bangla. This gentleman, who is in his early thirties, is one of the most successful young Bangladeshi businessmen in Canada. He told me that at this time he owns close to 500 apartments on the Island of Montreal. I also know a few other Bangladeshi young people who have done extraordinarily well in their professions and businesses. One of the important ingredients of the success of these young people is that they speak French and English fluently. They also know the laws of the land and the manners and customs of the people of Quebec. Why should we not all acquire the same kind of knowledge that has made these young people so very successful? If they could do it, we could do it too. Many of our people already have knowledge of English. We only need to improve our knowledge of that language and learn to practice speaking with a Canadian accent.

Now let us talk about the knowledge of French. It not only helps us to get good jobs, promotions and success in businesses; it also makes our life easier and more pleasant. Whether we ask for direction to a place in Trois Riviere or talk to the police about some difficulties that we have been facing, knowledge of French definitely makes the job easier and much more pleasant. Also if you speak to the clerk in a shop in French, you will notice the welcoming smile on his or her face. Secondly, as Muslims, we are required to be at peace with ourselves. One meaning of the Arabic word ‘Muslim’ is the one who is at peace with oneself; but, to be at peace with ourselves, we have to be at peace with others around us. How can we be at peace with our majority French neighbours if we cannot communicate with them for lack of knowledge of their language? We certainly cannot expect them to learn Bangla to communicate with us. Thirdly, let us place ourselves in the position of the French. Although we cannot compare the relationship of East and West Pakistan before 1971 with that between the French and the English here, yet we have to admit that there is some amount of tension between the French and the English in Quebec and Canada. We Bangladeshis have come from the outside, live in a province with a French majority population, and yet we follow the language and culture of the English. In the Pakistani days, would we have liked to see an American living in Dhaka for many years but speaking only Urdu? Obviously not. Having had a tooth-ache ourselves once, we should understand how other people feel when they have tooth-ache as well. Now we have an idea as to why the French people desire that we speak their language.

There is no doubt that we have some problems in learning French. First, we were ruled by the British for almost 200 years. It is the British who brought their language, justice system, etc. to India. Most of us were educated in English under the British system of education. Sometimes I jokingly say to my French friends: “You came to India and remained confined to some small enclaves of the sea coast, whereas the British took over most of the vast territory of India. If you had colonized entire India, we would not have the problem of speaking French today.” Secondly, a large majority of the first generation Bangladeshis came to Quebec during the last 30 years. A majority of them came as refugees. Many of them had a good education and good jobs back home. Since they did not have Canadian education and Canadian job experience, many of them have done odd jobs to earn a livelihood for themselves and their families. Many have left large families in the old country that they have to support financially. So often they have to work at two jobs to meet their financial needs. As a result, they hardly have any time to go to French school. Thirdly, the French programs that the Quebec Immigration Department offers to the new immigrants may not have been well-adapted to the needs of the first generation Bangladeshi immigrants. Under these circumstances it has been very difficult for them to go to school to learn French.

What I am saying about the difficulties of learning French are facts; but the ordinary French people are not aware of our difficulties, nor are they interested in finding out why we do not speak French. They only know that we do not speak French, and that is all that matters to them. That is why they would like us to speak French, no matter what.

I would like to mention here that our language Bangla and French have similarities in sounds, especially the soft sounds. Hence it is easier for Bangladeshis to learn French than it is for people of many other mother tongues. If we keep our eyes, ears and minds open, we too can  learn the manners and customs of the people of Quebec.

Dr. Abdur Rabb

Published in canadaBdNews.com

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I shall preface the second part of the article with two comments. First, in part 1 of the article I addressed primarily the Bangladeshis of the Province of Quebec. The issues that I shall discuss in part 2 apply to all Bangladeshis, especially Muslims, living in Canada.  Second, my discussion of issues in part 2 of the article may not please everyone. This discussion will involve self-criticism which may not be always pleasant. Yet I think that self-criticism is necessary for self-improvement. I do not wish to offend anyone. I should remind readers that I am discussing a community to which I belong as well.  It is therefore possible that I myself am making some of the mistakes that other members of the community are making. Moreover, we should keep in mind that all the members of the community do not do wrongs; yet the wrong activities of some people may adversely affect the people of the entire community. Human beings have a natural tendency to make generalizations. The attitude of many North Americans to Muslims in the post-9/11 era is a case in point. Some people claiming to be Muslims have been involved in extremist activities, but now we all Muslims have become suspects. Facts and reason do not warrant this kind of suspicion, yet this is the reality that we all have to deal with because of the tendency of human nature to generalize.

In the early history of Islam, Muslims were open, flexible and adaptable. The seventh century Saudi Arabia where our Messenger Muhammad   sallallahu alayhis-salam was born and brought up, and later preached his faith had a simple society. After his death Muslims formed a formidable army with extraordinary military leaders, burst out of the deserts of Saudi Arabia, and conquered land after land. It is nothing short of a miracle of history that within 80 years of the Messenger’s (sas) death Muslims reached India in South Asia and Spain in Europe. Conquest of lands is one thing, but the conquest of the minds of the conquered people is quite another. For example, the British ruled India for almost 200 years, but they did not win the hearts of the Indian people. They got what they wanted—Indian wealth; and as soon as the source of that wealth dried up, they left bag and baggage. Most of the Muslim conquerers did not do that. They settled down in conquered lands, adopted many elements of their cultures, and that won them acceptance, love and respect of those over those they ruled. They also patronized Muslim scholars to learn the conquered people’s laws, theology, philosophy, and the like. It is these scholars who incorporated their learning from outside sources into the teaching of Islam, and developed Islamic theology, philosophy, Sufism, etc. None of those existed in early Islam. The spread of Islam in India is also a clear case in point. In the wake of Muslim conquests, many Sufis moved to India from countries such as Afghanistan and Iran. These Sufis lived in their khankas (Sufi centers) mostly in the rural areas, adopted many of the customs and practices of the local people, and preached and practiced Islamic principles of equality, tolerance, and love. As a result Hindus, especially those belonging to low castes, accepted Islam in large numbers. Now the Indian Subcontinent, originally a Hindu land, has the largest Muslim population of the world.

For reasons not clearly understood by  historians, at some point of history the Muslim people lost their creative genius of the early days, and started practicing taqlid or blindly following the past. They fell in some kind of a slumber until about 200 years ago when they were finally awakened by the colonialist rulers and the technological advances of the west. Muslims lost their lands to foreign powers, and every nook and corner of their lands was invaded by railway trains, telegraphs, and the like. They were now forced to ask themselves: what is it that went wrong with our societies? How and why have we lost our glory of the past? How can we rectify the mistakes that we committed? We received many answers to these questions from Muslim thinkers. Unfortunately we have not been able to find solutions to the problems of the decline of the Muslim societies yet.

This week my wife and I took our daughter and her children to a dinner in an Italian restaurant in Montreal. While we were waiting for our food to arrive, my seven-year-old granddaughter covered her head, mouth and face with a scarf and a cotton table napkin of the restaurant. We could barely see her eyes. She stood a few feet from our table and made a gesture to me with her right hand and fingers. She signalled to me to open a gate with a key and enter an area. I was surprised by her action. She was actually imitating what a Bangladeshi lady did earlier in the day. That morning I drove her and her 12-year-old brother to the community vegetable garden where I have a plot. I parked my car in front of the gate of the garden and started unloading some garden equipments and materials. A Bangladeshi lady in complete burqa (even her eyes were covered with some kind of netting) wanted to enter the garden at the same time. It seems that she forgot to bring her key to the gate. She realized that I was going to open the gate soon. Hence she went around the corner of the garden and hid herself behind a high fence. I opened the gate and entered the garden. It is only after my grandchildren and I were inside the garden some 25 feet from the gate that she finally came in through the gate. I am a 75- year-old man and I had two young children with me. I am also known as grand uncle and bhaijan to some 50 Bangladeshis owning plots in that garden.  Yet she could not even stand six feet from where we were located because I am a man. Of course I never expected her to ask me to open the gate. Ladies in burqa are not expected to talk to other men. Her action is reminiscent of what I saw in Barisali villages more than half-a-century ago. Women could not travel during the daylight period because they would be seen by men. They could not travel in dark nights because it was very difficult for them to move from one place to another in the darkness of night. Hence they had to wait for the moon-lit nights to visit their parents and other relatives. If they were forced to travel during the day, they would draw their ghomta down and stand on the side of the road facing away from the road until men passed. If they were lucky to have an umbrella, they would stand on the side of the road hiding their faces in the umbrellas. I do not know how the lady in the garden travels by the subway and buses of Montreal during the rush hour periods when sometimes the passengers squeeze themselves against each other’s body. How could she work in an office where she has to interact with men? What kind of education is she giving to her children? One of my female Muslim students was asked by the committee that interviewed her for admission to a medical school: “There is a good chance that you normally wear a hijab. As a Muslim woman doctor, how are you going to examine men’s bodies?”

There has been a great deal of controversy in Canada about the use of hijab, niqab, and burqa. I have no intention of entering into that controversy. What I can say is that the action of the lady in the garden is a symptom of many diseases from which we are suffering.  Many of us Bangladeshi Muslims just do not and cannot change. I am not talking about changing the fundamentals. We must perform prayers, observe fasting, give zakat, and so on; but we could definitely make adjustments in some details of our lifestyle. Our men do not need to feel proud of walking on a busy street of Montreal in lungi and panjabi, and our women do not need to hide their faces in burqas. In Canada men do not go crazy just by looking at the faces of women; nor can our women in burqa function fully in the Canadian society. We should also remember that there are Canadians who think that we are imposing a strange and foreign lifestyle on them. One man in Ottawa once said, “When I come out of my house I do not recognize this country as mine.”

Many of us who live in the western world are highly educated.  We tend to excel in the fields of medicine, law, teaching, business, and so on. Yet we leave a very important aspect of our life—the spiritual one—to the care of the munshis whose knowledge of true Islam is minimal, and very often narrow and distorted. Such well- educated people are to blame for their own woes. If they could spend so much time and energy to become specialists in their fields, why can they not get correct information about Islam from the internet and plenty of good books that are easily available today? A Bangladeshi Professor of Engineering on the west coast of the US told me that when he first went to a mosque in the US for prayers on a Friday, he was surprised to see the imam preaching the same munshi Islam just as the imam of his own out-of-the-way village in Bangladesh preached years ago. He is quite right. I myself have experienced the same munshi Islam in some mosques that I attended. One imam once said in his khutbah, “You can see only your wife and aunt.” This particular imam has little knowledge of Islam. He also does not have a western education, nor does he speak good English. Why is he leading the Friday prayers attended by some 300 people? A member of the mosque committee gave the following answer: “We do not have money. We do not need to pay money to this gentleman for his khutbahs.”  I think that another reason is that in the estimation of some Muslims every Arab is an angel because our Messenger (sas) was an Arab. This particular imam is an Arab. Another imam said in a khutbah, “In paradise there will be two rivers flowing in front of your houses: a river of milk and a river of honey.” I think the idea is that we shall be able to scoop up milk and honey whenever we wish. The same imam said in another khutbah, “In paradise cows, goats and lambs will come running towards us in large numbers saying, ‘please eat me; please eat me.’ ” I could give many other examples. I wonder where the imams get these ideas. I can assure you that this kind of talk may please Muslims born and brought up in Bangladesh; but it may turn our young people, growing up and educated in the west, away from Islam. May Allah help our young people!

I am now going to talk about something that I consider very important. It goes by the name of part-time Islam. Many of our people live the life of part-time Muslims. They pick and choose from Islam items that suit their convenience. Once I heard the story of an officer in Bangladesh who was negotiating the amount of bribe that he demanded from his client for some work. Since the client was taking time to settle the amount of bribe, the officer became impatient and said, “যা দেবার তারাতারি দেন I মুয়াজ্জিন মসজিদে আজান দিয়েছে I আমাকে নামাজ পড়তে যেতে হবে I” (Give me quickly what you wish to give. The muazzin has recited azan at the mosque. I have to go for prayers.) What a mockery of our faith! Many of our Bangladeshi Muslims in Canada are also practising the same kind of part-time Islam. By and large the Canadian society is run on an honour system. Generally the Canadian people and authorities trust what someone says. Some of our people take full advantage of that trust and do many wrongs. I do not want to discuss the details of their activities, but I have been told that even our religious leaders have no difficulty in doing illegal, and therefore un-Islamic, activities. They preach honesty, insist on eating halal foods, etc., but they have no problem acquiring and using for themselves and their families money that is not halal. Other Muslims know about this; but they turn a blind eye to those activities. Such activities may bring temporary benefits, but in the long run those activities are sure to prove detrimental to them and their families. We should also not forget the punishment for wrong doings on the Day of Judgement.

The question of paying interest on loans and receiving interest on investments is a hot issue for many Muslims. Again I have no desire at this time to delve into that controversy. I respect those who will not take a mortgage loan to buy a house, and take interest on their investments in financial institutions. I shall only remind them that we relish the benefits of the Canadian society that is run by loans on which large amounts of interest is paid. Our Governments are run on large deficits. This means that they are neck-deep in debts on which they pay heavy interest.  We should also remember that most of our Government leaders drink alcohol. To be able to really practice interest-and-alcohol-free Islam, one needs to leave a country like Canada.

Coming back to the question of halal foods, I respect the people who try their best to buy foods that have been prepared in an Islamic way. We all should make an effort to do the same. If there are no halal foods available in a city, we have to buy meat from regular groceries. Yet I think that we have no reason to do excesses in this regard. I think that it is very important that our earnings and activities are halal.  Halal meat bought with non-halal money does not make much sense to me.

I shall mention an imaginary situation and ask how we should act in that situation. We all know that our men can marry women of the ahl-i kitab (People of the Book) communities. Let us say that your son has married a Christian girl and, as permitted by Islam, she has kept her Christian faith. You have accepted her as a genuine member of your family. She will also bear your grandchildren. You will have no problem eating food cooked by her. One day you have gone to visit her parents’ home. There is a good chance that the hosts will prepare dinner with halal foods for you. First, are you going to ask them if the meat that they served is halal?  What are you going to do if you realize that the meat is not halal?  Remember that we people with education and sophistication can in no way be impolite to our hosts.

There is an issue of washing feet as part of wudu ritual. We face problems when our people wash their feet in the sinks of public bathrooms. One almost needs to be an acrobat to be able to perform that kind of act.  In one institution where I taught there were many complaints by non-Muslims about Muslim students lifting their feet and washing those in regular sinks. The authorities then gave Muslim students a room where they could perform wudu with water from large bowls. The authorities were compelled to stop this practice because the worshippers spilled water on floors. I am very happy that now more and more people are refraining from washing their feet in the sinks of public bathrooms of their schools and offices. The idea that we should wash our feet when we are at private places and make a motion of washing our feet in socks at public places is becoming more and more acceptable. Our feet in socks and shoes are clean anyway.

There are many Muslims in Canada who still use water and their fingers to clean themselves after bowel movements. First, this practice is very unhygienic. However much we try to clean our hands after the act, we cannot remove all the bacteria from inside the nails. I may remind everyone that we often fall sick during our visits to Bangladesh. The bacteria that cause some of the diseases come from the finger nails of the people who handle the food there. Moreover, if we use water in the old way, we are likely to spill water on floors of our bathrooms. I am sure you will agree with me that in Canada we are not supposed to spill water on floors. The solution of the above problem is quite simple. We make sure that we can reach the sink easily after completing the toilet job. We then use toilet paper, well-soaked in water, a couple of times to clean the dirt, and finally wipe ourselves with dry toilet paper. If we do this, there will be no bacteria in our finger nails, no water-spills, and we shall be well-cleaned. Please remember that I am not blaming the people in Bangladesh for their toilet habits. A majority of the people of that country do not have the facilities that we have in Canada.

I do not know if there is any other people in the world who are as jealous of other people’s successes as we Bangladeshis are in Canada. The strange thing is that we do not mind if our non-Bangladeshi neighbour becomes a billionaire and drives a million-dollar car; but our hearts burn if we see our Bangladeshi brother buying a larger house than ours or his son is doing slightly better in school than ours. It is not only that we burn within ourselves; some of us actually take measures to make sure that our Bangladeshi brother does not get ahead of us in any way. The story that I heard from a Bangladeshi young lady illustrates our nature. Six men—two American, two Chinese, and two Bangladeshi–were arrested by the security forces of a kingdom. The minister asked the king for instructions as to where and how they could be imprisoned. The king said, “Dig three holes in the earth, and put the American men in one hole, the Chinese in the second, and the Bangladeshis in the third. Also make sure to put one guard near the hole of the Americans, and another guard to watch the Chinese prisoners.” Asked why there was no need for a guard to watch the Bangladeshis, the king said, “ If there is no guard at the hole of the Americans, one of them will stand on another’s shoulders and come out of the hole. Then the one outside the hole will somehow take his companion out of the hole. The Chinese prisoners will do exactly the same. If however one Bangladeshi prisoner tries to get out of the hole, the other Bangladeshi will pull him down so that neither of them will ever be able to get out of the hole.” The other day I asked a young Bangladeshi if he knew why we are so jealous. His answer was: “Maybe because we have so little to begin with.”  I can only say that jealous people are unhappy people, and a good Muslim must not be jealous of others.

We also have the habit of speaking ill of others behind their back. My experience tells me that backbiting is almost a national pastime of the Bangladeshis of Canada. Speak ill of someone in front of a mainstream Canadian, and you will see his or her reaction. You will be taken aback by the response of the listener. He or she will ask:”Why are you telling me?”   Backbiting is absolutely unacceptable in Islam. Our Rasul (sas) equated backbiting with eating one’s dead brother’s meat. Moreover, the listener of my backbiting others will lose trust in me. The listener will think: “If he could say bad things about others in my presence, he may also say bad things about me to others in my absence.” The backbiter intends to tell his listener: “So and so is not good. He says and does these bad things. However, I do not do those things. I am better.” In reality, the backbiter has just lowered himself in the eyes the listener. Let us read a story that I think is relevant to our discussion.

In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.
One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?”

Wait a moment,” Socrates replied. “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”

“Triple filter?”

“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my student let’s take a moment to filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and…”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?”

“So,” Socrates continued, “You want to tell me something bad about him, even though you’re not certain it’s true?”

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued, “You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter – the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really…”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?”

The man was defeated and ashamed.

(The story received from Dr. Anwar Hossain of Bangladesh.)

We Bangladeshis have a great deal to learn from the above story. We should be ashamed of our past behaviour, ask Allah to forgive us for the sins we have committed in this regard, and start using the Triple Filters of Socrates. It is only the illiterate and ill-intentioned people who spread lies about other people, often without realising the implications. I have seen people with Ph. D.’s in our communities who are actually illiterate in this respect.

Not keeping time has become a part of our national character. It is not uncommon to see guests coming at 8:00 p.m. for a dinner scheduled to be served at 6:00 p.m. There are families who will regularly arrive four hours late.  I think that the people who do this are terribly selfish; they just do not care for others. Let us say that we have planned to attend an event outside the city, and I have made appointments with our Bangladeshi friends to pick them up from three different locations of the city. Let us say that all the three people are supposed to wait for me in front of their houses at specific times. Now if the person to be picked up first is late, the entire chain of appointments will fail. The person Nos. 2 and 3 will be anxiously waiting for me on the streets, and we all shall miss part of the event that we have planned to attend. I would also like some of our maharajas a question. I am very happy to be able to give you a ride to some place. I make an appointment to pick you up from the street in front of your house at a specific time. You know that I always arrive at the destination exactly by the second, perhaps a few minutes earlier. To make sure that you remember our appointment, I call you again just before I leave my home. In spite of all these, why do I have to arrive on the street on time, park the car which may be very difficult sometimes, and then go to your house to bring you from there? You may have been a big boss back in Bangladesh where your paid driver always waited for you. I am not your driver, nor paid for the favour that I am doing to you. I have a vehicle with four wheels and I can drive. I just want to be helpful to you.

Dr. Abdur Rabb

Published in CanadaBdNews.com on October 8, 2011

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In part 3 of this article I shall continue the theme of part 2 of the same article: self-criticism. I would like to repeat what I said previously: I am writing about the Bangladeshi community to which I also belong. I may also be guilty of some of the wrongs that other Bangladeshis are doing. I hope that no one will take my criticisms personally. I always feel grateful to those who point out my mistakes. I hope that my countrymen will feel the same way.

United we stand, and divided we fall. We Bangladeshis of North America are so divided that we have fallen flat on the ground, and we may not be able to stand up in our generation. The case of FOBANA (Federation of Bangladeshi Associations of North America) gatherings is a case in point. Originally, FOBANA was established in order to bring all the Bangladeshis of North America together to one location once a year to promote communication, friendship, and love among our people of the US and Canada. According to a recent report in the CanadaBdnews, now there are four FOBANAs. On the July long weekend this year, one FOBANA organized a gathering in Washington DC, and a second and third did the same in New Jersey. According to the above report, a fourth FOBANA gathering will be held in the near future. What a shame?

FOBANA started as one organization, but a few years later the Bangladeshis fought among themselves, and divided it into two FOBANAs. Now we have four FOBANAS. The organization whose prime purpose was to bring unity among the Bangladeshis is itself split into four parts. I have heard people saying, “If there are three Bangladeshis at a place, there are two associations.”

In Montreal there are about 15,000 Bangladeshis, and there may be two to three dozen registered Bangladeshi organizations in this city. These organizations, instead of acting as a unifying bond, work instead as a divisive force in the community.  Sometimes it so happens that  if one organization holds a significant cultural event with famous artists brought from Bangladesh at a considerable cost, a second organization plans a similar activity on the same date and time so that the event of the first organization fails.

In my opinion the Bangladeshi political parties in Montreal are the most divisive, and therefore doing the most harm to our community. The leaders of these political parties feel very powerful and sometimes exceed the limits of human decency. A leader one day said to me, “Sir, there is a vacancy for the position of a Bangladeshi   ambassador to such and such country. If you are interested in getting that position, I shall ask Apa to give you that position.” Another gentleman told me recently that his friend in the Bangladesh Government will soon arrange to appoint him a Bangladeshi consul general in a foreign country. I am not sure if this “future consul general” has had a college education. A few weeks ago I stated in a meeting that we do not really need any Bangladeshi politics in Montreal. In response to my statement the leader of one particular party said in a firm voice: “Do not do that kind of talking.” He was not only impolite, but I could also interpret his words as a threat to me. These leaders of Bangladeshi organizations in Montreal assume that we Canadian citizens of Bangladeshi origin do not have the right to speak out how we feel about a matter in our own country, which is Canada, just because it goes against their personal interest.

Why do they run Bangladeshi political parties in Canada at all? It definitely satisfies their ego, and they feel great because they have been appointed presidents, secretaries, etc. of a political party in Canada. To be addressed as the President of a party definitely satisfies their vanity. I have been told that sometimes it boosts their marketability as prospective candidates for marriage in Bangladesh as well. It may also help to promote the businesses that these leaders own in Canada. Recently I have learned that some leaders receive great favours such as import licences and contracts from the Bangladesh Government. The sum and substance of all this is that these political parties only satisfy the personal interests of the leaders. I would like to ask a simple question.  How many Indian political parties are there in Montreal? Do we have the US Democratic and Republican parties in Canada? Why do the Bangladeshis need Bangladeshi political parties in Canada?   For God’s sake, give up deshi politics and join the mainstream Canadian political parties. Your involvement in Canadian politics will bring a great deal of benefits to you and to our community. You are intelligent and experienced in politics, and you are superb speakers. You need to learn English and French, and the laws, manners, and customs of this country. It will be worthwhile redirecting your time and energies from Bangladeshi politics to the preparation for getting actively involved in Canadian politics.

I find it very difficult to understand the mentality of many Bangladeshis in Canada. It seems to me that these Bangladeshis just cannot believe that some people can do things for others without any selfish interest in mind. When someone tries to do something good, right away they will say, “There must be an ulterior motive behind it. He may use that as a means to make money. Or, he wants to become a leader in the community.” I know somebody who has been so much wounded by the community that he has now more or less washed his hands off the community activities. Unable to serve his own community, he devoted thirty years of his life to work for the non-Bangladeshis of Quebec.

Because of the inner conflicts the Bangladeshis of Montreal we have not been able to acquire a community center. We have been holding our cultural activities in rented halls. We also use basements of restaurants such as Macdonald’s and Harvey’s for holding meetings.  The gentleman referred to above wanted to give the Bangladeshis of Montreal a gift—a community center. He made a will and kept it in the custody of two of his trusted friends. According to the will, he was leaving behind a considerable amount of money that would be sufficient to buy a building for a community center in Montreal. In the meantime he got an opportunity to rent a place where he opened a small community center that could accommodate 175 people. He furnished it well, and made it available to everyone of the community absolutely free of cost. Not only that the people did not use the center for their activities, but also that, as usual, they spread all kinds of rumours about the motives of setting up that center. After having spent a good sum of money over an eight-month period, he closed the center, took away the will that he kept with his friends, and tore it off. Now he devotes his time and resources to help the people in Bangladesh who are in genuine need of help.

I would like to ask our Bangladeshi friends to open their eyes to see what is happening around them. Recently there was flooding in an area south of Montreal. After the flood water receded, the people of the area needed help to remove the debris left by the flood. Eight thousand volunteers signed up to help. At one point the volunteers had to be turned away because too many volunteers offered to help. It is sinful to think that these volunteers helped the flood affected people for some selfish gain. Do you know that one factor for the superb services we get in our hospitals is the work of many dedicated volunteers? I saw at the front gate of the Royal Victoria Hospital of Montreal a large poster saying: “VOLUNTEERS MAKING A DIFFERENCE.” You will see people in blue dresses helping to feed the patients who cannot feed themselves, bringing books to the patients to read, selling foods in the hospital restaurants, and so on. Many of these people are very rich. They pay their servants to do their own house work; but they themselves are working as servants without pay in hospitals to make the life of the suffering patients a little easier. Also think of the billions of dollars that are donated by the ordinary people of the west, and the people of third world countries are beneficiaries of their generosity. Do you think that these ordinary people have any selfish motive behind their generosity? Recently I watched an interview of a 75-yearld-old American gentleman on a Bangladeshi TV channel. He spent many years of his life in Bangladesh working for the rehabilitation of the young Bangladeshi drug addicts. According to reports, he and his organization have saved many people’s lives from destruction. Yet the people Bangladesh created all kinds of problems for them in their work. Hence he sighed at the end of the interview and said, “I do not understand why people create problems if someone wants to do good work.”

I think that you will say, “We are not rich. We still have to struggle hard to earn a living. Hence we have no time to do volunteer work.” My response to this excuse is the following. First, we have a number of rich people of Bangladeshi origin in Montreal. Why should they not give at least a small part of their time and resources to help others? Second, if we genuinely interested in doing something good for others, we can certainly do it. I would refer to the wonder that has been wrought by Joynal Abedin of Mymensing. If he could build and run a free hospital, a clinic and a school for the poor people of his area with his earnings as a rickshaw peddler in Dhaka, I think many of us could do more than what we have been doing in Canada and Bangladesh.

Why do we suspect people’s motives for their actions?  My answer is that those who suspect the motives of others themselves are very selfish people. Since they will never do anything for others unselfishly, they cannot imagine that other people can do anything without some ulterior motive. I should also mention that Islam does not permit such suspicions. We have been asked to do our duties to Allah and His creation, and let Allah judge our intentions.

The history of our community in Montreal is short. A majority of our people came to this city after 1981. Yet many members of the community, including the young people of the second generation, have been successful in various fields of human endeavour. This is great news. I feel very proud and happy when I see our people doing well. I would like to make a few observations that may be useful in this context. First, our earnings must be halal. A good Muslim must not cheat anyone whether it is the Government, employees, clients, or anyone else. Money earned by cheating is not halal. Second, as Muslims we cannot be greedy. We should be content with the blessings that Allah has showered on us. Third, with a great deal of blessings that Allah has given us, our heads should bend in gratitude to Him. A good Muslim cannot be boastful about anything.  He cannot show off his wealth by driving very expensive cars and living an extravagant life. According to Islam it is good to be wealthy only if we share with the needy what we have been blessed with. Fourth, it is very wrong to feel that because we have wealth we can do whatever we wish. The Canadian society is governed by laws. If we violate the laws, sooner or later we shall have to face the consequences. For a time we may feel invincible, but ultimately we are bound to fall. My father used to say that when people become wealthy, they buy a dog. In the Canadian society one does not have to be very wealthy to buy a dog. The wealthy people in our society might engage themselves in many sins: womanizing, drinking alcohol, and other immoral acts. This kind of behaviour leads to disastrous consequences: break-up of families, loss of physical and mental health, and the loss of business or businesses that created their wealth in the first place.

I need to say a few words about small stores owned by some people of our community. First, some of these business people think that they do us a favour by selling their merchandise to us. It is not only that they do not greet us warmly in their stores, but also that we get the impression that they have just been thunder-struck so that they have lost their voice to speak. I should also mention that it is very rude to talk to someone else while serving clients. The situation becomes even worse when the clerk serving clients speaks to someone at a distance in a language not understood by his clients. The way merchandise is arranged and the lack of cleanliness of the stores also deserve a great deal of improvement.

I would like to discuss our activities in gatherings: celebrations of important national events, cultural shows, and private parties at homes and restaurants. The very first thing that comes to my mind is the delay in starting the events. It seems to me that we are genetically predisposed to attend or start such events late. Once I went to attend a private party at a community center at the appointed time and found the center closed. I called the host on the telephone to find out if I was mistaken about the time and place of the event. He said that he would arrive two hours later to open the door of the center. I was shocked to hear that. We were served dinner three-and- a-half hours late. Starting events two to three hours late is commonplace. Do we realize that there are children, people who are old and sick, and members of the mainstream Canadian society who eat early and on time? I do not put all the blame just on the hosts.  Many guests also behave irresponsibly when it comes to keeping time.

In one of the recent Independence Day celebrations, we had regular activities such as songs, music and, of course, food. When it was time for the speaking part of the program, people were asked to speak two minutes each. Many people were asked to speak. This is usually the way our people arrange speaking sessions. The organizers have to please people by asking them to speak. These are ‘important’ people and their importance must be recognized by having them display themselves to gatherings from the speakers’ podium. This behaviour shows the intellectual bankruptcy of our people. What can someone say in two minutes? Have they not seen how speakers in this country speak in an event?   The Independence Day celebration is an important event. One person can be given the responsibility of preparing a solid talk and delivering it to the gathering, especially for the benefit of our children who have been born and brought up in Canada. This person can also print his or her talk and distribute it to the people attending the event.

Published in CanadaBdNews.com on October 23, 2011

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I am doubtful if many of our people are interested in reading. A Bangladeshi gentleman living in Australia wrote a short history of the independence of Bangladesh. A Bangladeshi man from Montreal printed 100 hundred copies of this booklet and brought some 50 copies of that to the venue of the Independence Day celebration mentioned above. He thought that that would be his contribution to the celebration of the event. He placed the booklets on a table at the center of the hall and announced on the loud speaker that the booklet was free, and requested that the people attending the event take a copy home. To his surprise, only 10 copies were taken by the people. My impression is that most of the people came to attend the gathering only to eat and listen to songs and music.

Let us now talk about what happens in a cultural event. Often our children perform on the stage. It is great that our children learn to sing Bangladeshi songs and perform Bangladeshi dances. Unfortunately these children often perform without much preparation. Our children are not responsible for that. Their parents have to take the children for rehearsals, and the parents and the teachers have to make sure that the children are ready for their performance. The other day I was attending a ballet dance at the Victoria Hall in the Westmount Park. There was a very large number of performers, 160 to be exact, from ages three to 12. Most of the children were white girls. There were three boys, two black girls, five East Asians girls and one Bangladeshi girl. The event started exactly on schedule at 1:00 p.m., and finished by the second at 3:00 p.m. Not even one minute was wasted between performances. The dancers presented a superb performance. I am sure that these dancers rehearsed their dances for weeks and months for this event. It should also mentioned that almost 450 people who attended the event. Many young children were present in the Hall. Yet there was pin-drop silence in the Hall for the entire two-hour period. I suggest that our organizers go out of their little ghettos and learn how the people of other communities organize cultural events. Someone who attended the July-weekend Bongo Shommelon of the Bengalis from West Bengal in Baltimore told me that this conference was run just like an academic conference of an American University. If the Bengalis from West Bengal can do it so well, I would like to know why we cannot do it the same way.

What do we do in our private parties at home and in restaurants? We eat. As usual, this is the most important part of the event. There is something very special about our foods. We eat more or less the same foods most of the time—rice, chicken curry, mixed vegetables, etc. I am thankful to our ladies. Most of them cook superb foods. I must point out however that sometimes guests are served unsafe foods. What happens is that many people are invited to a party, and because the host does not have facilities for cooking large amounts of food in a short time, the lady of the house takes days to cook the foods. Since the host does not have refrigeration facilities for large amounts of foods, these foods may get rotten over a period, especially in the summer.

As usual we gossip in these parties. Most of the time of course we engage ourselves in our national pastime: speaking ill of others who are not present at the party. Sometimes we argue on certain matters, and these arguments may end up in physical fights. More than once I had to place myself between two people  to prevent them from beating up each other. Often I see people playing cards in these parties. These card players can hardly wait for the dinner to finish. Some people like me who never learned to play cards either sit quietly in one corner of the room, or just leave for home. The fact that sometimes the guests start gossiping and playing cards immediately after a doa ceremony for someone who passed away or a milad ritual organized by the host  is shocking; it destroys the sanctity of the occasion.

A majority of our children, especially teen agers, usually do not like to attend Bangladeshi private parries which the adults enjoy so much. Have you ever asked yourselves why they do not like to attend these parties? First, many of our children are not very fond of the spicy chicken curry dinners. Second, they do not like to listen to the backbiting of the adults that takes place in these parties. Thirdly, have you ever realized that the children are very bored in these parties? I have never seen any activity planned for them in these parties. One young person once put it bluntly:  “What am I going to do in that party? Just look at the blank walls?”

We all love our children and wish that they have a successful life. Yet sometimes our words and actions create an impediment in the way of their success. We say to people in the presence of our children, “The older one is nothing. He has no brain. He will not be able to anything in life. My second one is smart. He will shine in life.” First, this kind of talk humiliates the children whom we consider less than smart. Secondly, we know that even if a lie is said 100 times, it becomes a truth in the minds of many. If we say to a young person since his childhood that he is good for nothing, he turns out to be good for nothing. I am sure that the people of the mainstream Canadian society do not do something like this. I sincerely urge our parents and others NOT to depreciate the value of their children. I should also mention that we should not impose on our children a line of education that WE think they should pursue. We can discuss various options available to them and the advantages and disadvantages that these options may bring; but the choice should be left to the children themselves. I know some of our young people who faced serious difficulties because they were forced to join the fields of studies which they did not want.

Many of our women have a very difficult time in Canada. First, they miss their old country very much. Back home in Bangladesh they were surrounded by relatives and friends. Migration to a new country has resulted in the loss of the company of those relatives and friends. Second, those coming from middle and upper class families had servants who did most of the house work and took care of the children. In Canada they have to clean the house, do shopping, cook and take care of their children. Many of them also have to work full-time outside their homes. The working housewives actually do an amount of work equivalent to two full-time jobs—one at home and the other outside the home. A majority of our men, on the other hand, have only one job—the job that they do outside their home to earn their livelihood. Third,  many of our men strictly control the movements and activities of their wives thus minimizing the amount of freedom that their wives enjoy in a free country like Canada.

When we come to practicing Islam, one gets the impression that Islam and paradise are meant only for our men. In most of our gatherings prayer arrangements are made only for men.  There are mosques where women cannot go. When the authorities are asked why women could not attend the activities of the mosque, the usual answer is: we do not have facilities for women. I shall give you an unusual example of how our women are treated in mosques.

A few years ago a Sufi came to visit Montreal from the US. He was invited to talk to a gathering in a mosque located in a basement apartment. Men entered the mosque by the front door close to the street. Women were not allowed to  use that door. The Sufi had two ladies with him—his elderly wife and a French lady who recently converted to Islam. These ladies had no place to stay outside the mosque during the Sufi’s speech. Hence, in spite of the objections of the mosque authorities, I had to bring them in the mosque. How could they enter the mosque? Since they could not come in through the main door, I had to bring them through the back door which led to the backyard.  The problem was that the backyard of the mosque was three to four feet lower than the adjacent ground of the street level. Either there was no steps by which one could come down to the yard, or the steps were broken so that nobody could use those steps. With great difficulties the ladies held each other’ hands and somehow came down to the yard. They could have been seriously hurt especially because they were not young people. Then they had to pass though the kitchen to go to a room attached to the kitchen at the rear of the mosque.

After the lecture of the Sufi in a larger room in the front, a young boy of eight or nine years of age brought two plates of food for the ladies. An adult man could not go near the ladies. Now the converted Muslim lady needed to leave before others because she had to arrange another gathering for the Sufi to address the same evening. She tried to go out through the kitchen by which she came, but she was not allowed to enter the kitchen because there were adult men there. She had no choice; she had to leave the mosque without delay. Hence she made a clever plan to go out of the place. She sent the young boy to the front room where I was with the Sufi. She asked the boy to ask me to come to the room where she was. As soon I came to the door of her room, she said, “I need to say something to you. I cannot say that to you here. Let us go outside.” I took her to the backyard through the kitchen where a man was washing dishes. This man or anyone else had no courage to stop me from entering the kitchen with the lady. Once we were in the yard, I asked the lady what she wanted to tell me. She said, “Nothing. This was the only way I could come out of the mosque. I could not have come out without your help.”

Driving cars in North America is a very serious matter, and many of our Bangladeshi adults drive. If we do not drive well, we may cause harm to us, those who travel in our cars, and the people in other cars. Some of our drivers are actually a terror on the road. How do you like having a ride in car that is travelling 120 km an hour on a high mountain while the driver has taken both his hands off the steering wheel and is negotiating a business deal on his mobile phone? One gentleman drives in the speed of a snail so that other drivers have to pass him all the time thus causing tremendous hazards on the road. Another gentleman said that he always drives slowly on the fast lane on the extreme left. Asked why he does that, he replied, “I never have to change lanes. It is the responsibility of fast drivers to pass me on my right.” Still another gentleman told me once, “Most of the time I do not stop at stop signs because ‘the stupid people had no reason to put stop signs at those intersections.’ ” Taking the eyes off the road and doing some sight-seeing on the left and the right of the highways is also not uncommon. I ask my friends how long they took to drive to Montreal from Toronto, Boston or New York City. Sometimes their answers shock me so much that I say to them, “You must have come flying.” I have known of a number of our people killed or severely injures in car accidents. My appeal to all our Bangladeshi drivers is that in order to avoid disastrous consequences we should observe all the traffic rules.

Right speaking is very important for success in life. The people of our community need to learn a great deal in this respect from mainstream Canadians. I have discussed this matter elaborately in my article “Right Speaking in Our Day-to-Day Life” published in canadaBdNews on May 29, 2011. You can also find this article in my website bangladeshisabroad.com .

We need to pay attention to a few small things that we do in our everyday life. When we open a door to enter a public place it is necessary that we hold the door open for the person/persons entering the place after us. While walking on the sidewalk or inside a public place we must not block the path of other people with our bodies, shopping carts, etc.

There is some kind of shame associated with the openings of our body. In most of the cultures, therefore, the openings in the lower part of the body are covered with clothes. Under normal circumstances we cannot cover the openings of the upper part of the body: mouth and the nostrils. We have to eat, talk, sing and breathe; but we have to keep our mouth closed when we chew our food, cover our nose when we clean it, and cover our nose and mouth when we sneeze. We are also not supposed to yawn with our mouth open in front of people. We need to pay special attention to what we need to do when we sneeze and yawn. Strangely enough, there are people who keep one or two fingers In their nostrils. I shall tell an unusual a story.

Four of us went to visit New York in 1964. There was also a fifth passenger travelling with us from Montreal to New York: a Chinese young man who lived in New York. We agreed that in lieu of the free ride that this young man was getting he would let us sleep in his parents’ home in New York City. We arrived at their home at 2:00 in the morning. We were given a room on the second floor of their house. Soon after we arrived at the house one of our friends went to the bathroom for a shower. He took a long shower that made a great deal of noise that must have disturbed the sleep of the older parents of the Chinese young man who were sleeping downstairs. Another Bangladeshi friend who was in the room with me at that time said, “This man has no sense whatsoever. He has no right to awaken the old people from sleep at this hour of the morning.” I agreed with him. Now I got an opportunity to tell him something wrong that he had been doing.  I said, “Will you mind if I tell you that you have also been doing something that bothers other people?” He assured me that he would not mind. Then I said, “You put two of your fingers in your nostrils and keep them in that position most of the time. How do you think the Americans feel when they see you sitting at a restaurant table with fingers in your nostrils? Do you think that we your friends can feel proud of you when you do that?” My words enraged him so much that he literally started jumping, saying, “I am an adult and a father of many children. I was also a professor of a University. Who are you to teach me what to do and what not to do?”

I could go on and on writing about the thoughts and actions of the people of the Bangladeshi communities in Quebec and Canada. I shall conclude this article with a few observations. We have brought to this country a heavy Bangladeshi and Muslim baggage that is breaking our backs. We must lighten this baggage by throwing away the unnecessary items and keeping the essentials. We live in a small ditch in a large country like Canada. Our houses are little pieces of Bangladesh transplanted in Montreal, Quebec City or Toronto. The activities in these houses are very similar to those in Bangladesh. Moreover we have a community which is filled with viruses. We must come out of the ditch in which we confine ourselves, breathe fresh air of the larger Canadian society, and learn and apply in practice the elements of Canadian culture that are good and useful. If we do not do this, we ourselves shall not prosper, our children will not get the opportunities that they deserve, and the mainstream Canadian society will not accept us as equal members of this great country Canada.

[Editor’s note: Dr. Abdur Rabb is one of the Bangladeshi pioneers in Canada. He was a professor of Philosophy and Psychology at the University of Dhaka for five years from 1958 to 1963. In 1963 he came to Canada where he studied and taught Islamic Philosophy, Theology and Sufism for more than forty years. Dr. Rabb also writes and delivers public lectures specially on the need for self-purification, Islam as a religion of moderation, and the necessity of making adjustments in the teaching of Islam in some of its details, not in its fundamentals, to make Islam more relevant and attractive to the young Muslims in the west]

Dr. Abdur Rabb

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(This is the first of a number of articles that I plan to write about the people of Bangladeshi origin doing well in the western world, and promoting the well-being of their adopted countries and Bangladesh.)

The plan to build a 42-storey skyscraper with 800 units of hotel rooms and condominiums at the heart of downtown Montreal has made big news in the greater Montreal area. In the second week of June, 2009 the Canadian National Television CBC broadcast the owner-developer’s interview along with pictures of the planned tower. The elite French daily newspaper Lapresse published a report on the project on May 12, 2009. This paper said that the owner is going to make Montreal a Dubai which has many tall skyscrapers. Montreal has only a few of those tall buildings; the new project will make the number of those tall buildings larger. On June 19 the only English daily newspaper of Montreal the Gazette featured a large article on the project with an impressive photograph of the design of the building. The municipality of Montreal distributed leaflets on the project in the Montreal homes and invited the citizens of the city to express their views in two hearings held in the month of June.

There are many reasons for which this project attracted public attention. We are going through a period of recession. This grand project costing between 80 and 100 million dollars will create employment for a large number of people, generate a huge amount of tax for the city, result in the construction of a number of residential units for the low-income people elsewhere in the city (one of the conditions of getting the city permit) at a cost of $700,000-, promote tourism, and change the face of the city of Montreal.

The owner-developer of this magnificent project is Mr. Ali Khan from Barguna, Bangladesh. He came to Montreal in 1982. His father Mr. Abdul Wahed Khan, a prosperous businessman of Barguna, wanted him to get an education in Canada. Mr. Ali Khan enrolled himself in the Sciences program at Concordia University and worked part-time in restaurants. With his business background Mr. Ali Khan, while working in restaurants, kept a sharp eye on how restaurant businesses are run. Once he accumulated some capital and acquired sufficient knowledge of the business, he bought a tiny restaurant in a posh shopping center of Montreal in 1990. That business struck gold. Soon he acquired enough capital and experience to start working for his dream: own and operate the largest and best Indian buffet restaurant of North America. As a first step to the realization of his dream, he rented and renovated a place in the heart of the city and made it into a 150-seat buffet restaurant. His idea was to serve a large variety of best Indian foods at a reasonable price. This business prospered tremendously. Then in 1994 he bought three beautiful stone-façade Victorian buildings in a row in downtown Montreal, carried out magnificent renovations, and fully realized his dream by establishing a restaurant called the Buffet Maharaja. The physical features of the Buffet are extraordinary. Sometimes people come just to see its architectural design, beautiful renovations and superb decoration. At present 550 people can sit comfortably to eat at the same time; yet sometimes dozens of people have to wait in lineups on the sidewalk in front of the building to enter the restaurant for dinner. Sometimes people drive more than 100 miles to eat dinner at this restaurant. The Buffet Maharaja is not only a very successful business; it has now become an important institution of Montreal. I have not met many people of the greater Montreal area who did not know about Buffet Maharaja.

Since Mr. Ali Khan’s new concept of large buffet of Indian foods worked very well, many people of the Indian subcontinent followed his example and established Indian buffet restaurants in Canada. Buffet Maharaja has also made Indian foods popular among the mainstream Canadian population in Montreal and its surrounding cities.

Mr. Ali Khan now owns the entire block of stone-façade Victorian buildings. In the same block he also built a residential hotel and named it Hotel A2K after his children’s initials: one A stands for his eldest son, second A for his daughter, and K for his second son.  Many visitors from Bangladesh stay in this hotel during their stay in Montreal.

The restaurant and the hotel have created jobs for many people. Most of the people who work at these jobs are from Bangladesh. Special mention should be made of the chief chef Mr. Nurul Haque from Comilla who has been behind the success of Mr. Ali Khan’s restaurant businesses for the last 19 years.

Mr. Ali Khan has recently bought a large parking lot behind the restaurant-hotel block. The skyscraper will be built on this parking lot. The other skyscrapers of Montreal are owned by large companies representing many people; but the one we are discussing now will be built by only one individual—Mr. Ali Khan from Bangladesh.

Mr. Ali Khan also developed a condominium project at a short distance from the restaurant. He recently acquired a mountain in the Laurentian Mountain Range 30 miles north of Montreal where he will build a summer home and a small lake for fish culture and boating.

Mr. Ali Khan’s wife Shirin Rabb, whose parents originally came from Barisal, has been actively assisting him in all his business ventures.

Mr. Ali Khan’s extraordinary achievements in Montreal have made Bangladesh and Bangladeshis proud. Asked about the secret of his achievements, he said, “A vision, determination, and hard work.” I should add another ingredient of his success: adoption of the important values of the mainstream Canadian society. He speaks both English and French fluently, knows Canadian laws, and has learned Canadian manners, customs and etiquettes. He knows how to communicate with the people of all walks of life, especially Government officials and business people, with whom he has to deal. Many young Bangladeshis of Canada are being inspired by his extraordinary achievements; they are now establishing their own businesses, and some of them have prospered tremendously.  Mr. Ali Khan also does charitable work to help the poor people of the area of Bangladesh where he came from.

August 28, 2009

(Articles on Dr. Hamid Rabb recently published in some Bangladeshi websites contain errors. Those articles were based on information obtained from second-hand sources. Dr. Hamid Rabb was not aware of those articles, nor is he responsible for the contents of those publications.)

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The Bangladeshi community of Montreal organized a large reception for one of their own: Professor Dr. Hamid Rabb, MD (McGill), FRCP(C), FACP (UCLA), FASN (Harvard), Medical Director of the Kidney Transplant Program of Johns Hopkins University (Baltimore, Maryland), and Vice-Chairman of the Department of Medicine of the same University. The reception was held on Saturday April 11, 2009 at the auditorium of the Lavoie School on Lavoie St., Montreal. Some 350 people attended the reception. The event was divided into three parts: speeches and the award ceremony, dinner, and a cultural function. The evening’s success was summed up by one participant in the following manner:” It was a spectacular event. The Bangladesh community has never held an event like this since Bangladeshis settled in Montreal several decades ago.” The committee that organized the event gave the community a very special gift that evening—an extraordinary program of activities. During the buffet dinner Dr. Hamid Rabb mingled with members of the audience. Many young people took their photograph with Dr. Rabb and asked for a copy of his speech. A number of people from outside Bangladeshi community also attended the event.

A number of people spoke on the occasion. The chairperson Mrs. Irshat Alam spoke first. She spoke of Dr. Hamid Rabb in glowing terms and introduced the speakers to the gathering. There were three main speakers : the chief guest Professor Dr. James Martin, Lung Research Director at McGill University (Dr. Hamid Rabb’s teacher, mentor and later research partner); Professor Dr. Syed Tareque Ali, Professor of Mathematics at Concordia University, who spoke in English; and Prof. Bidyot Bhowmik who spoke in Bangla. Professor Bhowmik spoke of Dr. Hamid Rabb’s life and achievements with great affection. A representative of the Federal Ministry of Immigration and Multiculturalism read a message from the Minister that was endorsed by the Prime Minister for the occasion. There were also brief talks by Dr. Hamid Rabb’s father Dr. Abdur Rabb, sister Mrs. Shirin Rabb, and brother-in-law Mr. Ali Hossain Khan. Dr. Hamid Rabb spoke after the speeches of the main speakers. The following are the highlights of the speeches of the three main speakers. The entire speech by Dr. Hamid Rabb is quoted at the end of this report.

As for his professional career, Dr. Hamid Rabb  worked at the University of Southern Florida and University of Minnesota for a total of nine years. He rapidly advanced in his career. He joined the Kidney Transplant Program of Johns Hopkins University as its Physician Director in 2001. The Johns Hopkins Hospital has been rated number one in the United States for the last 18 years in a row by US News and World Report. If that institution is the best in North America, said Prof Bhowmik, it is probably the best in the world. Dr. Hamid Rabb’s publications, which appeared in books, prestigious journal, and conference reports number approximately 360. Some of these publications are used as texts in medical schools and hospitals all over the world.

Dr. Hamid Rabb has been competitively awarded many millions of dollars to support his research, employing many MD’s and PhD’s, some of whom are Bangladeshis. As an external reviewer for the US National Institutes of Health, he advises on the allocation of funds for research in US Universities. He does the same for other countries including Canada, Germany, Scotland, Australia, Netherlands, Ireland and England.

At a young age Dr. Hamid Rabb made a number of extraordinary achievements. In 2007 he received two prestigious awards: one for becoming a member of the American Society of Clinical Investigation, an elite group that includes numerous Nobel laureates, with an entry requirement having made a significant number of high impact medical discoveries prior to the age of 45. Among his discoveries is a new blood test for early diagnosis of acute kidney disease. Other discoveries are in the realm of immunologic injury to the kidney, a major contributor to kidney failure.

The same year he received a second award as the top mid-career physician investigator among the five thousand or so members of the main international transplant organization, the American Society of Transplantation.

In 2007 he was also promoted to the position of a full Professor—a rare honour for someone of his age, especially at Johns Hopkins University.

Dr. Rabb is frequently invited to deliver lectures at Universities and hospitals of North America, Europe and Asia. These institutions are interested in hearing about his discoveries in medicine and the new methods of treating kidney diseases.

Dr. Rabb is also an exceptional physician. Many patients with very complicated symptoms are sent to him from all over the US for diagnosis and treatment. He takes care of poor patients in inner city Baltimore, as well as dignitaries from all over the world.

Last Ramadan Dr. Rabb served as physician of Hon. Sheik Hasina. She was most pleased and proud to see a Bangladeshi doctor in a very high position at Johns Hopkins University. In appreciation of Dr. Hamid Rabb’s dedication she cooked Bangladeshi foods on her own, and served Dr. Rabb and his family herself before sitting down to eat her own dinner at her son’s house in Virginia.

TEXT OF PROFESSOR DR. HAMID RABB’S TALK

Assalamu alaykum, nomoshkar, bon soir medames et messiures. I thank the Bangladeshi community of Montreal, specially the citizen’s committee headed by Mrs. Ishrat Alam, for the honor that they have bestowed on me. For the benefit of our young people and those who came from outside the community, I shall deliver my speech in English.

I love Bangladesh and Bangladeshis everywhere in the world, and try my best to do what I can for them.

I love Montreal because I grew up here. Montreal is my home. I also love the Bangladeshi community of Montreal, whose members loved and supported me when I was growing up in this city. After finishing medical school at McGill, I studied at UCLA and Harvard to improve my training, and my goal was to return to Montreal. I came back here after finishing my studies but at that time, in 1991, academic job opportunities for me were not available and for complex reasons, some of which were not in my control, went back to the US where I felt I would have the opportunities to continue to develop professionally. Yet, wherever I live, I always have special love and concern for the Bangladeshis of my community.

The main goal for today’s function is to help inspire and mentor the members of the Montreal Bangladeshi community, particularly the youth, into developing their full potential as individuals as well as citizens of the local and global communities. I would like to share 10 points with you that I believe are important in order to meet these goals, with a bias from my own experiences and perspectives. These are weaved and modified from thoughts of others, but came to my mind very easily this afternoon since I try to follow these principles:

1. Develop a vision, a dream. Not someone else’s vision, your vision:  something that inspires you and elevates you. It could be that you will be the best business person, the best politician, the best scientist, the best cook, the best actress. Hold on to that vision and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t achieve it.

2. Take the path less travelled. Don’t follow what others do or take the easy path. Take the path that excites you, the path that you think can make a difference for you and others.

3. Choose a topic of focus that not only excites you, but one that helps others –either in the short or long term. Then, choose a route that you can follow that will be financially feasible. If you follow your vision, you will be able to reap economic rewards that will enable you to realize your vision. The real reward for good work is to have the resources and environment that allows you to continue to do good work.

4. The importance of work. One needs to work consistently and hard. Day in, day out. The difference between most people who are exceptional and those who are only very good is that the exceptional ones have worked harder, sacrificed more, and continue to sharpen their skills in their area of expertise.

5. Don’t try to be everything to everyone. Be outstanding at one thing. Accept that others will do better than you in different things, but put all your energy and focus on doing one thing better than anyone, not only at your school or work, but in the country or the world.

6. Cultivate trust and integrity at your home, work and friends. Support others, minimize personal criticism, and avoid controlling others. Your professional performance will be elevated by your relationships with people.

In closing, I want to give special recognition to my Mother, Aishah Rabb, who has given me love, guidance and support over the years; and my father, Dr. Abdur Rabb, who has sacrificed for the family and continues to be a role model at home and the community. I have special thanks for my wife, Nausheen Rabb, who has provided me love and companionship during my challenges over the years, always striving for the right path for our family and selfless in her pursuits. Unfortunately, she had to go to Bangladesh suddenly to take care of her mother who became ill. My sons Adib, Samir and Nabil – my source of joy, curiosity and my legacy. My sister Shirin and her husband Ali Khan, who have prospered in Montreal and raised three wonderful children, Adil, Kameel and Aliya. My special thanks to my professor and mentor James Martin, who has guided me and accepted me as person and physician since I was a medical student, always a source of inspiration and guidance. My uncle, Professor Tariq Ahmedali has always given me advice, company and affection. I want to recognize my good friend Nadim Rahman, who since childhood has complemented my own approach with humanism and common sense, always being available to me when I took the lonely path needed to follow my dreams.

On his return to Maryland Dr. Hamid Rabb wrote the following letter of thanks to Mrs. Ishrat Alam and her team for the honour accorded to him:

April 14, 2009

Mrs. Ishrat Alam
Chairperson
Citizen’s reception committee

Re: Event of Saturday April 11, 2009

Dear Mrs. Ishrat Alam,

Greetings. I would like to express my appreciation and thanks for the
wonderful function that you and members of your team organized. There are so many people who contributed that it does not do justice for me to write only one letter, but hopefully by sending it to you the message can be disseminated.

In a short period of time, you were able to put together both a community, scholarly and culturally focused program. I know it was a lot of work for everyone. I was really impressed how professionally it was organized. One of the things that really touched me was how emotional the audience was. The manner in which the evening was orchestrated really helped all members of the community to feel good about them, have heightened self-esteem, and become more motivated for higher goals in their personal and professional lives.

The children and young adults, the intended primary target of the
evening, told me that they were quite thrilled and many have taken my contact information. I am also very grateful for the thoughtful gift of the beautiful pen (it looks so expensive that I am reluctant to carry it in case I lose it!). Another aspect I really appreciated was the inclusion of the Canadian government official and the letter from the minister with joint support of Prime Minister Steven Harper.

Overall, it was truly a spectacular event that I will remember all my
life, and hope that this will empower and motivate all of us to be
better in our thoughts and actions!

Sincerely,

Hamid Rabb, M.D.
Professor & Vice Chairman
Department of Medicine
Medical Director, Kidney Transplantation
Johns Hopkins University

(A similar article was published in the JOGAJOG of Montreal on April,2009)

Dr. Abdur Rabb

Published in canadaBdNews.com

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We think and we feel. We express our thoughts and feelings through speech. The importance of correct expression of our thoughts and feelings in language cannot be overemphasised. We all know that a good politician should be a good speaker. One cannot be a good teacher without the ability to speak and communicate effectively. If we do not speak effectively at an interview for admission to a good school or for a job, we know the consequences. In this article I shall discuss what we need to do to speak effectively in our day-to-day life.

We should not speak much.  We should be good listeners. The wise is the one who listens more and speaks less. An Iranian proverb says that if we speak too much, either we shall make more mistakes, or our stupidity will come out in the open. We have two eyes to see, two nostrils to breathe and smell, skin all over the body to touch, and two ears to hear; but we have only one tongue which also have two functions : to speak and taste. It seems that Allah subhanahu ta’ala, in making these organs, required that that we do not speak too much. Hence He gave us just one tongue to perform two functions.

Our speech should be clear and easy to understand. The great philosopher Aristotle, who was a student of Plato and teacher of Alexander the Great, told us that a good teacher should be able to make a difficult subject easy and simple for students to understand. I think that I was a reasonably good teacher. One reason for that is that I have always tried to express my ideas clearly in a simple language.

The ideas that we try to express to others should be clear in our own minds first. If we do not have a clear concept of the subject matter under discussion, our efforts to communicate that matter to others are bound to fail.

We need to make our sentences and stories comprehensible and complete. Our listeners are not mind-readers, nor do they have divine powers.

We should enunciate every word, speak slowly, pause where we need to, and stop where we are supposed to.

We should be careful about what we speak. Our speech is like an arrow shot from a bow or a wild bird in a cage. If we release the bird from the cage, we shall never be able to bring it back. Similarly, once we speak, we can never get back our words and expressions; but the effects of what we say may last forever. If for example, we use abusive words that hurt somebody, our relationship with that person may never be the same again. We say, “Look before you jump.” We should add to it, “Think before you speak.”

We should speak directly to the point, and not beat about the bush. The listener has no time, energy or patience to sift through a garbage can looking for a needle. I have heard people talking volumes without realizing that the listeners had no idea about what they were talking about. A Bangladeshi gentleman needed the services of a lawyer. After one sitting the lawyer refused to accept his case because he was unable to get answers to his questions from this Bangladeshi gentleman. At my insistence the lawyer finally agreed take the case on condition that at every visit I would go to him with the Bangladeshi gentleman to help him understand what his client wanted to say.

We should not indulge in any unnecessary talk. Our speech must have a purpose. We should not speak just for the sake of speaking. We should remain silent unless we have something new to say, or a new perspective to bring to a discussion.

We should not repeat something that has already been said. I have heard some people who could say nothing other than what someone has already said. If we repeat ideas in an academic paper or a dissertation, the consequence may be disappointing. If someone repeated something in the presence of my five-year-old granddaughter, she would invariably say, “You said that already.” Listeners do not like chewed cud.

What we say should be interesting to the listeners. So often we hear boring speeches. The subject of speech may be boring, the way the speaker speaks may be boring, or the details of the speech may be boring. I have seen one person telling stories with minute details in which the listeners are not at all interested. Since the people do not pay attention to what he says, he goes close to some people in the gathering, hold their hands and say, “Mr…, please listen to me.”  Why should we say something that the people are not interested in hearing? We must be aware of what our audience would like to hear.

We should not speak loudly. We know that in our old countries there may be too much noise around us; hence we may have to raise our voice to be heard. In North America that condition does not exist. Yet, we see our people sitting two feet of each other but actually shouting on top of their voice while speaking. Sometimes we hold meetings in the basement of Harvey’s or McDonald’s restaurant.  There we speak in a voice so loud that the clients of these restaurants may think that we are actually fighting. Sometimes I feared that they were going to call the police because of our ‘fighting’. Here is what sometimes happens in the express bus coming from the suburbs to Montreal very early in the morning. Many passengers are tired at that hour, and some are actually sleeping. Then suddenly comes a loud voice from one end of the bus addressing someone at the other end, “Bhai sab, keya hal hai? Other passengers open their eyes and stare at the shouting man. Canadians are a patient and polite people. Their tolerance level is very high. Often they will rather suffer than protest. The other day I was travelling to Toronto by a Via Rail train. We were asked to keep our cell phones on vibrating mode so that the telephone rings would not disturb others. Most people of North America feel disturbed by loud sounds. I wonder why we have to hear the ring tones of cell phones while we are actually praying in jama’at.

We should remain completely silent while attending certain events. I am very sad to see people talking to each other during khutbahs in the masjid on Fridays. Sometimes I could not even start my wedding speeches because the wedding reception hall sounded more like a bazaar in Bangladesh.  I repeatedly requested the people to give me only ten minutes for the speech, but to no avail. People also keep on talking to each other while a guest artist visiting from Bangladesh is singing, and a speaker is delivering a lecture on an important issue. On the other hand, I see five hundred people, one third of whom are young children, attending a cultural event in an elementary school of Montreal with pin-drop silence. We have a great deal to learn from our mainstream Canadian friends in this regard.

Should we ask about people’s age? In Bangladesh, at least in my days, we had no problem asking someone’s age. Actually the older people sometimes exaggerated their age perhaps because older a person was, more respect he received.  In the villages many people did not know their real age anyway. The practice of keeping records of birth was not common. Nor did the people take age seriously. Once in the 1950’s I was waiting at the outpatients’ clinic of the Dhaka Medical College Hospital. While registering a patient the clerk asked his age. The patient said, “25.” The clerk said, “You look much older than 25.” The patient replied, “Then you can write 40.” In North America, women, usually after the age of 39, do not like someone to ask their age. As far as I know, North American men do not mind revealing their age. I myself have no difficulty mentioning my age in private and public talks. There are however some men among us who get upset if people ask them about their age. I shall give an extreme example. Recently I heard the following story from a friend of mine. A group of three people including my friend went to the house of a Bangladeshi gentleman for donation to a masjid. My friend said to the gentleman of the house, “You should be of the same age as that of so and so who is your contemporary.”  This statement infuriated the gentleman. He said, “You uncivilized man. If you were in the old country, I would have beaten you from head to toe with my shoes.”

We should not glorify ourselves in our speech. At the very first meeting with someone many of us quickly give a rundown of our wealth, education, big job, children’s achievements, the great family in Bangladesh to which we belong, and so on. This practice is quite unacceptable in western societies. We notice that Canadians talk least about their own ‘greatness’.  We often notice that even those who perform acts of heroism say, “I am not a hero. You would do exactly what I did in similar circumstances.” We also say with pride some of the ‘extraordinary feats’ of our small children and grandchildren. We should remember that these feats are very important and interesting to parents and grandparents, but these may be very boring to others. An Iranian proverb says, “Trees that bear fruits bend their heads.” We can see in the Fall the apple trees of Quebec with an enormous number of apples on their branches bending their heads low.  We can also see the pine trees standing straight but not giving us worthwhile fruits.

We should not talk about our diseases. Telling others about our diseases is a disease with us. We also tend to exaggerate our sufferings caused by our diseases probably to get sympathy of the listeners. Sometimes I heard people giving a detailed description of their diseases, which doctor said what, who prescribed what medicine, and so on. I am sure that unless one is a close relative or friend, one does not want to hear all these. Let us describe the aches and pains of our body to our doctors and not to gatherings of people who came to attend a dinner at a party in someone’s house. Sometimes the listeners are also to be blamed. Recently the host of a party said that he had some problem with his left foot. A number of people not only asked for the details of his illness; many of them instantly turned into physicians and volunteered various prescriptions for his ailment. We should rather leave the treatment of our ailments to the experts who have trained at medical schools for many years.

We should be careful when you talk to the children. I have heard many of our parents saying in front of all their children, “The older one has no brain. He will not be able to achieve anything in life. The younger one is very smart. He will shine in life.” This kind of talk is detrimental and even dangerous for the children who are told that they are good for nothing. If a lie is told twenty times, it tends to become a truth. The children who are told again and again that they are brainless actually end up being brainless. They lose confidence in themselves and give up trying to achieve goals because they are convinced that they will not be able to achieve those goals.

We should open our mouth to thank and appreciate people. Many of us love to speak. I have been told that sometimes our people pay money for a chance to speak in a gathering. Yet when it is necessary to thank and appreciate people, suddenly we turn dumb. I can give the example of thanking people for their gifts to a newly-wed couple.  I am sad to see that often the people receiving gifts do not consider it necessary to pick up the telephone to say “thank you” to those who gave those gifts. In Canada our local telephone calls are free, and today it costs very little to make a long distance call. In fact most mainstream Canadians routinely send a thank-you card in appreciation of gifts.

We should not speak ill of others behind them. What we call backbiting has almost become a Bangladeshi national pastime. Some of us make it our profession to speak bad things about people in their absence. Presumably, these people want to raise themselves in the estimation of others by putting other people down. This is the psychology of backbiting: “So and so is bad; but I am not like him. I am better”. Actually, in trying to put other people down, the backbiters only lower themselves in the eyes of the listeners. Good people do not speak ill of others. The backbiters also lose the trust of the listeners. If the backbiters could speak ill of others now, chances are that they will also speak ill of the listeners in their absence in the future. It should be mentioned that Islam strongly disapproves of backbiting. Our rasul  sallallau alaihi sallam equated backbiting to eating the flesh of one’s dead brother. I am sure our rasul would not be proud of many Bangladeshis of Montreal in this respect. It should also be said that the mainstream Canadians do not like backbiting. If someone speaks bad things about a person to a Canadian, the Canadian will say, “Why are you saying this me?” I think we should try the Canadian approach next time we hear someone backbiting.

I hope that our Bangladeshi friends will not be angry with me for what I have written above. I think that self-criticism is necessary for improvement. In referring to our people from Bangladesh, I include myself as one of them. My writings and deeds are a result of very sincere love of and concern for the people of Bangladesh. I would like to see them prosper, and live in peace in this great country,  C A N A D A.

Dr. Abdur Rabb, Montreal

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(We Muslims are required to say subhanahu ta’ala, “May Allah be glorified”, after we utter the name of Allah; and sallallahu alayhi-sallam, “May Allah bless him” after we utter the name of Muhammad.)

In this article I would like to discuss Sufi understanding of three important events in Muhammad’s life: “expansion” of his chest at a young age, reception of wahi (revelation) starting at the age of forty, and his Night Journey in later life. This article may not be useful to older Muslims born and brought up in Bangladesh because they already know these events. However, I think that the discussion of these events will be of some interest to the young Muslims growing up in North America. I shall also try to determine the lessons that Sufis draw from these events.

Expansion of Muhammad’s Chest

Muhammad was born in Makkah, Saudi Arabia in 570 AD. At that period of history there was a custom in Makkah to have children raised in the desert. There are three reasons for this practice. First, Makkah used to be affected by epidemic diseases from time to time. As we know, children usually fall victim to these diseases easily because their bodies lack necessary resistance. It is therefore reasonable that Makkans preferred to have their children grow up in the open and fresh air of the desert. Second, it is also possible that the Arabs wanted their children to speak pure Arabic. Makkah was a cosmopolitan city. As a center for international trade and commerce, people speaking various languages came to Makkah. Hence Makkan Arabic was influenced by languages spoken by the visitors. Arabs were very proud of their mother tongue Arabic. Accordingly, they sent their children to the desert to learn pure Arabic from Bedouin women unaffected by foreign languages. Third, life in the desert was very tough. People had to work very hard to keep themselves alive. The Makkans wanted their children to be trained in facing all kinds of hardship of desert life so that they would be able to handle difficult situations in later life.

Muhammad was raised by a woman named Halimah radiallahu ‘anha (May Allah be pleased with her) in the desert. Once, when the young Muhammad was tending animals in the desert, something extraordinary happened. The Qur’an refers to this event in Surah Al-Ishirah: “Alam nashrah laka sadraka”94:1 (Have We not expanded your chest!). Muslim literature is full of discussion of this verse. I am now going to describe how Sufis interpret the meaning of this verse.

For all important jobs we need training. Muhammad also needed training for fulfilling the functions of Allah’s Messenger to mankind. There is a difference between ordinary mortals like us getting trained for a particular job and a Messenger’s training for his job. We have to work hard to get training ourselves, and with Allah’s help we may achieve our goal.  A Messenger, on the other hand, is trained by Allah Himself. Allah had Musa alaihis salam (Peace be with him) thrown into the waters of the Nile, picked up from the Nile and raised by Pharaoh’s family, and so on–all as part of the training for his function as a Messenger in his later life. In a similar manner Muhammad was trained by Allah Himself since his childhood. The Quranic verse cited above refers to an important part of that training of Muhammad.

Allah selected Muhammad to be His last Messenger to mankind (The name Mustafa means the ‘chosen one’).  Allah is absolutely pure, and His wahi is pure as well. It is only the pure that can meet the pure. Hence Muhammad had to be purified to receive wahi and come close to Allah in his later life.

The Arabic word sharaha means to open up or expand. The word sadr means chest, breast or heart.  The chest is also considered the seat of knowledge and wisdom.  One meaning of the verse, therefore, is that Allah expanded Muhammad’s horizon of knowledge about life and the universe. Muhammad was going to be appointed the guide for entire mankind. To fulfil his responsibilities as a guide he needed to have clear knowledge of worldly and spiritual matters. Allah gave him that knowledge in a miraculous way when he was tending animals in the desert.

The verse can also be interpreted in another way. Expansion or opening up of the chest may also mean purification of the heart. We human beings are born with some low desires and passions such as greed, boastfulness, anger, wrong desire for sex, etc. The source of these lower elements in us is what we call nafs or self. The heart, when associated with nafs, is like a rusty mirror which cannot reflect Allah’s face. Hence we need to polish the mirror so that it can reflect the face of our Lord.. To put this matter in another way, the Ka’bah is the external House of Allah, while our heart is His inner home. The lower or baser elements of our nature constitute dirt and filth in our heart. Allah the Holy cannot enter a dirty home. Hence we need to cleanse our heart so that Allah can enter it. The process with which the mirror of the heart is polished or cleansed is called mujahadah or self-mortification. As part of the process of self-mortification Sufis do a great deal of additional prayers, fasting, dhikr or remembrance of Allah, etc. What is important to note here is that we have to practice self-mortification on our own, and one day we may reach our goal with Allah’s help. In the case of the Chosen one,  Allah cleansed Muhammad’s heart Himself in a special way. Allah did this in order that Muhammad could receive the Holy Qur’an and meet Allah, the Holy in the Heavens.

Muhammad’s Reception of Wahi

Around the age of forty we see Muhammad spending a great deal of time in the quiet mountains alone loitering and meditating. One night in the year 610 AD when he was deeply wrapped in meditation in a cave of Mount Hira, a few miles from his house in Makkah, Allah started giving him the light or guidance for mankind saying, “iqra bi-ismi rabbika-llazi khalaka” (Recite in the name of your Lord who created you) (96:1). Until that night which the Qur’an calls Lailatul Qadr (the Night of Power) Muhammad was without Allah’s guidance about what is right and what is wrong, what should be done and what should not be done in life. It was on that night that Allah stared sending wahi (revelations) to him. The Messenger continued to receive revelations for the next 22 years until his death in 632 AD. These revelations which constitute the Qur’an contain guidance about the right path for Muhammad and the rest of mankind.

Wahi is pure; the Qur’an is Holy. As we mentioned above, Allah prepared Muhammad for this event by purifying his heart at a young age. Now the pure heart of Muhammad could receive the holy.

Muhammad’s Night Journey (Isra)

We Muslims believe that Muhammad undertook a journey from Makkah to the court of Allah. Because this journey took place at night, it is called the Night Journey. The route that Muhammad covered had two parts. The horizontal part of the journey consisted of his travel from Makkah to Jerusalem and the vertical part from Jerusalem upward to the court of Allah in the Heavens. This journey is also called mi’raj or ascension because Muhammad ascended from the earth to the court of Allah above. It also means ascension from one spiritual level to another.

At the end of the journey Muhammad came close to Allah—very close. He came to Allah at a distance of two bow lengths or nearer still. Once he came near Allah, he had a dialogue of communion with Him.

Again Muhammad’s nearness to Allah and his dialogue with Him was possible because Allah had already purified Him in the desert.

There is a controversy as to whether Muhammad’s Night Journey was physical or spiritual. So far as the Sufis are concerned, they belong to the group of Muslims who think that the journey was spiritual.

Let us see what lessons Sufis derive from the three events of Muhammad’s life. First, even Muhammad the Chosen of Allah needed to be purified. Allah purified him in a special way, but the ordinary Muslims have to work hard to purify themselves with Allah’s help. Second, wahi is reserved for Messengers, but it is possible for ordinary Muslims to receive a kind of inspiration called ilham, a minor inspiration given to the friends of Allah. Third, Muhammad was a human being; yet he came very close to Allah. This fact exemplifies the possibility of human beings coming close to Him. Actually the ultimate goal of Sufi life is to achieve nearness to Allah. Sufis believe that they experience nearness to Allah in a state of tawhid, unification. The very word awliya’, the plural of wali, means those who are close to Allah.

One should understand clearly that Sufis are talking about COMING CLOSE to Allah, NOT becoming one with Him. Muhammad stayed two bow lengths from Allah. Similarly, Sufis experience unification in which Allah is always the ‘other’; they do NOT experience being united with Him.